Being the social person that I am, I find it hard just to go and dance with someone and not talk to them as well. This does not work for everybody. Often in talking one can get very distracted and I do have to have a quiet word with myself not to talk sometimes and just concentrate on the dancing.
I am always struck by the ‘characters’ you meet. One man asked me for dance as soon as the lesson had ended, but I was having serious ‘shoe’ problems and asked him to hang on whilst I changed them. He stood impatiently waiting for me, perhaps I should have told him to just go and dance with someone else. Well, it was definitely a dance worth waiting for, he really was good… Later he asked again and after we danced I chatted to him and was struck by his stutter… Turns out he goes dancing at least 5 nights a week and would drive up to 80 miles for a good venue…
Another chap I had seen on several occasions who I had never danced with, he seemed unapproachable and never asked me. I asked him to dance and told him I’d seen him many times but we’d never danced. He started to tell me that he was very shy and found it easier with people he knew. He told me about his life and how long he’d been dancing. A bachelor who was still living at home with his parents and once again clearly had some health and social issues. But on the dancefloor he was in his element, a great dancer! So it’s the sense of community he values, he told me how the guy who ran the dancing really looked out for him
Another couple of chaps, always dress up any opportunity – they have everyone talking with their smooth dance moves and sense of fun. They are well known on the dance floor for making the ladies feel special – and the other men love to gossip about them (yes and we thought women were bad!). They go out about 5 nights a week, dancing, socializing and drinking, they take turns in driving, go on many dance weekenders and embrace the dance scene, perhaps the addiction. Both single now and in their late 50’s, it suits them to have this routine. I actually think finding a partner for each of them would get in the way of their dancing routines and work… Admittedly one told me he’d had a few relationships but I gather wasn’t willing to make the compromises it might incur with his ‘dance’ social life.
Chatting to another guy he said when he started dancing he went with a group of guys three times a week, but it’s died off now he has met a lady and tends to go dancing with her perhaps once and they do other things now..
A couple told me they always sit together and go and dance together or else, after the dance her other half will be grabbed for a dance and she won’t dance with him for the rest of the night, so they sit away from the dance floor where most dancers to grab their next dance.
My theory is – some are searching for someone, and some just love the dance, the company, and the belonging as I have realized I do.