WARNING: Do not read this blog if you are uptight, easily offended and don’t have any bad habits!
I’ve had quite a lot of feedback on my ‘swearing’ recently. Someone told me they love it when I say ‘Oh fuck it!’, in my London accent, another chap at dancing told me he found it ‘Very Sexy’. My kids normally pick me up on in and have been known to dob me in.
A couple of summers ago, the four of us were in the car driving to Spain. On our way there, we were playing a game and saying, “What noise does a cow make, what noise does a pig make?”. Once we had run out of animals, I said: “What noise does a Daddy make?” The kids replied, “Get on the naughty step”. Then James said, “What noise does a Mummy make?” and the kids replied “Oh Fuck!” Yes, totally busted. I guess I should feel more guilty. But why is it that the bad things you say are more impactful than the good things you say or do…
The other day after a quick swearing fit after I’d spilled something all over the kitchen floor, I explained to the kids that when mum gets stressed she finds it a big relief to swear. I did follow-it up by saying that I would try in future really hard not to, and perhaps find other words like “Flip, Flap, Flop” instead. There are times in the month when I swear loads and loads, which I have nicknamed my Pre-Menstrual Tourettes!
My neighbour in France commented on my swearing and compared me to a relative of theirs and wondered if I swore more than her. It’s funny because I wasn’t even aware I was doing it. She said that in the 5 years we have known each other, she hasn’t really noticed me swear that much. However, that evening they noticed it alot. It happened after an incredibly stressful day with ‘close’ family who had left and managed to wind me up like a drum and leave a cloud of negativity all over the place. (But that’s a whole other blog.)
My mum was Irish and when frustrated, usually with my Dad would say, “Oh Feck off Danny!”. Feck just doesn’t have the same impact to me. I don’t know why the word ‘FUCK’ brings me such relief and satisfaction. Well, the ‘C**T’ word really nails it, but I try not to use it I unless I’m really pissed off! In fact, some years back there was a play called ‘The Vagina Monologues”. There was a bit in it where the C word was reclaimed for women and verbally sounded out on stage to sound sexy!
The funny thing is when I hear someone swear it always gets my attention, but I think it’s the way you swear, in conversation or aggressively… perhaps I’m just trying to get myself off the hook.
(Yes, you non-swearers might find this shocking, but I’m just being honest).
As I watched my ten-year-old with her finger up her nose, foraging away for green delights. “Molly, don’t eat it,” I said. All ready to reprimand her, I had to admit that actually, it’s one of my bad habits too! I come from a family of nose-pickers. Often I’d see one of my older brothers with his finger stuck up his nose… “Pick it, lick it, roll it, flick it!’ they would say.
Actually, I haven’t really given it much thought until now, but I love to do it as well especially when I’m sitting in traffic or at the lights… is it worse than playing on a phone I wonder? I can’t explain the satisfaction of finding some snotty treasure, sometimes stuck fast and peeling it away. Now I always make sure I’ve got a tissue ready to collect it these days! You see sometimes just blowing your nose doesn’t clear it! Unlike my daughter, I don’t eat it, anymore.
Honestly, I wonder if there are some cultures where ‘having a good pick’ is socially acceptable. (I’ll have to do a bit more research.) I know that in Bahrain, after a meal burping is socially acceptable. In fact, it means that you’ve enjoyed your meal and it’s considered polite.
Repulsed yet? Well, I wonder how many of you haven’t had a good pick now and again and got great satisfaction from it?
Now, this is another of my bad habits that have been with me as long as I can remember… My mum used to constantly tell me to stop. She often said, “I’m going to take a photo of you doing it”. I guess she thought if I could see myself doing it I might stop. Many people comment that they don’t see me doing it. This is usually because it’s another of my bad habits that I do sometimes when I’m driving or whilst watching the TV.
Years ago I decided to have false nails, but I just ended up biting them off eventually too. The stop n’grow lotion you put on your fingers left the taste in your mouth all day, so another bite made no difference. You see this is all about willpower, of which I am selective it seems. I would really love to give up biting my nails which I did for 6 months once when I moved to Shanghai in 2005. I’m not quite sure why I started again, possibly the stress of another miscarriage…
Yes, I find nail-biting the same as wine, cigarettes, sugar and in some ways therapy all mixed into one. Perhaps I would need to replace it with something else…? It’s my safe haven, my stress relief, for as long as I can remember.
I have all the attributes of an addict with some non-traditional addictions. I suppos I should to think about dropping some or all of these bad habits. I’ve managed to change my physical and eating habits considerably. Would I lose a bit of me in the process, I’ll need to address that question.
For those of you who thought I was perfect, sorry to disappoint. But hopefully, you’ve giggled a bit and I hope I didn’t gross you out too much. By the way, I would appreciate any tips one how to kick the nail-biting, swearing and nose picking in that order. As always, thanks for reading.